So I initially started this blogmoir as snippets of my soon-to-be-but-not-yet published memoir. The blog format is a quick collection of stories in this fuckery called life. Although a memoir is still my end goal, some life lessons need to be shared with my online hearts sooner rather than later. Most importantly, this reflection is therapeutic for me.
Being the K Dot Stan that I am and in the tradition of sharing music, this blogmoir post will be guided by lyrics from DAMN. I had the pleasure of seeing these lyrics performed live last month with my bestie. #DAMNwithDAMEY
Pour your favorite beverage (I'm sipping homemade jasmine sun tea), get comfy and read further.
"Life is one funny muthafucka. A true comedian. Well-respected, calm and collected."
. I try to stay calm and collected whenever life throws a curveball my way. I especially try to avoid stress and worry because it brings on a migraine attack. So yes, I am nonchalant with a lot of things. Sometimes that is seen as me not caring. And honestly, most times I really don't give a flying fuck except when it comes to family, friends, or goals that matter.
"Y'all gotta see that I won."
. Have you ever felt unaccomplished? Here's an exercise that helped me. I sat down and wrote all the milestones and goals I have reached. Wrote down all the lessons I learned and even mistakes made. Then rated my life experiences. It may seem like I haven't reached a level of success, but truly I won. And the best part is God ain't through with me yet.
"Pain in my heart carry burdens full of struggle."
. I may look fine but y'all don't know my struggle. You don't know anyone's pain. Social media gives such a false sense of reality. A person only posts the happy times: vacation, bae pics, good food, inspirational quotes or funny memes. Sure it looks like people are living the good life but know that we all carry burdens. It is how we handle them that matters. So now I scroll my social media timelines with tinted cat-eye glasses knowing I am only seeing the good shit. So stop thinking that others don't struggle behind all the filters.
"Books ain't cool no mo'."
. This is an alternative fact. A bold-faced lie. Books will never go out of style. I cannot function without my fiction.
"Feeling lovely. Living lovely. This feeling don't drought."
. I took a break from love but think my heart is ready to receive it again. I have loosened my deal-breakers. I let go of a type. I do not disregard as fast. Now dating is lovely.
"Whatever you doing, just make it count. Take me a nap and do it again."
. Don't be fooled by the memes that say hustle while others sleep. Nawl, you need rest too. I take daily naps to refresh my brain and bones. Rest helps me to hustle harder during the hours I am awake. So whatever I am doing counts.
"a.m. to the p.m., p.m. to the a.m. funk."
. I had to realize I get the same 24 hours as Beyonce. If she can do it, I can too. If Hov puts his pant legs on one at a time to make things happen, so can I.
"Flesh-making, spirit-breaking, which one would you lessen? But He's been perfect."
. I also learned that I cannot let the smallest thing shake me or break my spirit. Being the only meatball in the rice is exhausting. Uneducated sprites say some dumbass shit. I would work myself harder than a slave that missed the freedom train if I let every little statement bother me. Nothing is worth breaking my creative flow.
"Ain't no limit when I might shine, might grind. Run the atlas. I'm a natural, I'm all right. Loyal to yourself in advance."
. I've had so many Mama-I-Made-It / Daddy-Look-at-Me moments in the past year that's its surreal at times. I shine when I am not even trying to. So that makes me a natural success story, right?
"I feel like I'm losing my focus."
. When I get in this state of mind, it is time for a break. I step away from blogging, reading and other commitments. I give myself a hard reset.
"I'mma make it look sexy. I done cried for this shit."
. Nothing is worth taking me out of my element. Stay swaggy and meet goals. Don't let the hard work and tears be in vain.
"I'm diagnosed with real nigga conditions. Today is the day I follow my intuition."
Migraines are not just a headache. It is a real debilitating condition. I am eligible for disability, people! So the quickest way to get on my shit list is to disregard my pain or to feign your own.
"I got hustle though, ambition, flow inside my DNA. I was born like this."
. Some people are blessed to be born with a hustle spirit. Ambition comes natural for us. Others, I truly feel sorry for you. We can't all be bawses, entrepreneurs and self-starters. 🤷🏽♀️
"Seemed to be a bit frustrated."
. Hey, it happens. Everything cannot go my way all the time. If it did, I would not be as grateful. I wouldn't appreciate the good times as much. Life is way more enjoyable when I've earned blessings.
"And that's just how I feel."