"I love him in a way I cannot define, as if my love were an organ within my body that I could not live without yet could not pick out of an anatomy book." ~ pg. 74
Finn and Autumn were meant to be together. Joined at the hip since their mothers (best friends) gave birth. They live right next door and attend the same schools. But something happens to shift their dynamic. Perhaps they've just grown apart and hang in different circles; Finn being the most popular guy in school while Autumn hangs with the misfits. Yet she imagines them being together sometimes.
Since the first page we know how the story ends. It was raining. Finn was driving down a slick road while arguing with his girlfriend Sylvie. Normally people think it's not important what they were arguing about. But Autumn knows because she was the cause and there's another story beyond the facts.
"It was the sort of happiness that fools you into thinking that there is still so much more, maybe even enough to laugh forever." ~ pg. 22
I got a free 4-month subscription to Kindle Unlimited when I upgraded my Kindle PaperWhite. I randomly scrolled through books and added a bunch to my library. This one caught my eye because of the title and ominous cover. Well my free subscription is expiring soon so I went through all of my downloads. I returned a lot and kept others to devour in a personal read-a-thon. There was something about If He Had Been with Me that whispered, "Keep me! Read me now!"
"I want to savor this wonder, this happening of loving a book and reading it for the first time, because the first time is always the best, and I will never read this book for the first time ever again." ~ pg. 141
So here I am trying to find the right words to give this novel the review it deserves. The best I can come up with is the quote above from the book itself. The author clearly had readers in mind when she wrote these lines. Because I just finished reading If He Had Been with Me and am frozen in place. I have been sitting in the same spot since I read the last paragraph. I will not forget this story. I felt the printed words. I am in disbelief. I am heartbroken. I am a believer that sad things can be beautiful.
Title: If He Had Been with Me
Author: Laura Nowlin
Published: April 2013
Genre: YA Romance
Rating: 🖤 🖤 🖤 🖤 🖤