December 18, 2018

Life of a Migraineur: Fanotlettinme Be Mice Elf

I am overwhelmingly thankful of all the support from dear family, friends and fellows-in-chronic-pain in response to my most revealing blogmoir post: Life of a Migraineur: What's Free. I continue to receive such motivating comments since it has been read and shared on social media. A big thanks to my Chickadee, who takes the time to share my testimony and screenshot every reply since I'm not personally on FaceBook. Again, it is nice to know people empathize with my struggle to migraine relief. So as promised, I am keeping y'all updated. Grab your holiday beverage of choice (eggnog with shot of Bailey's for me) and settle in for another long post.

A mere nine hours after I published Life of a Migraineur: What's Free, claiming good health and not wanting to jinx myself, I was hit with a very bad migraine episode. I remember talking about a TV show (A Million Little Things) then feeling a stab of pain. It was quick. So I shifted in my seat away from the ceiling lights and kept up the conversation. Until someone said I was turning pale and my eyes were dull. Was I bored? No. Was I thinking about something else? No. It was symptoms of getting sick with a migraine. I immediately got up, took my meds and drove home. Willing myself to not throw up before I got there. I made it.

This migraine turned into the kind where I sleep on the cold bathroom tiled floor until the bouts of vomiting stop. Until I get enough strength to climb into bed with a cold aromatherapy compress and freezer pack. Until the Tramadol finally stays down and begins to take effect. Hours passed. Then days. I couldn't track the time of day because blackout window treatments did what they do: block all light and sound.

It started Thursday evening. I didn't come to until I heard water running in the main bathroom. Did I leave a faucet on? No, Chickadee was washing her hands. I sat up and called her name, asked what time it was: Saturday afternoon. She let herself in when I wasn't answering my phone or iMessages. I found my phone buried under the comforter. Judging from missed notifications, I was out of it for almost 40 hours. The amount of time worked weekly in a full-time job. Think about that. Time is lost in the life of a migraineur. 

Obviously the free miracle drug is not fully in my system yet. It never promised to completely eliminate my migraines. I just didn't think I would get a severe one so soon after the first dose. On the bright side, that was the only severe migraine I had since the first injection about 2 1/2 weeks ago! I got another migraine last night but it didn't last nearly as long. I was also prepared for it because of the unusual weather. It may not feel or seem like any improvement but numbers don't lie. 'Tis the season for results!
Yet I now understand why I got a burst of energy after taking the first injection. Because ever since, I have been exhausted. Oh, I'm TIRED tired. Like no energy, out of breath too easily, naps turn into full night's sleep type of exhaustion. And the minor body soreness I experienced? Well, now I feel heavy like I am 500 pounds dragging around dead weight. This leads to no longer being as active or productive. I haven't danced in my living room or gone to hustle class. I haven't started water aerobics as planned. It takes longer to read through a book that would normally be a page-turner. I'm even too tired to walk from bedroom to kitchen for a snack. Wayment—that one's a good problem to have. And I did help decorate my Christmas tree!

I don't have the energy or physical strength to do much. All of my focus goes into one task at a time. As I am typing this, the television and music are off because the noise is too distracting. I already got sidetracked into watching the candle flame flicker across the room for a good two minutes. Seriously just watching the lit three wicks. I can't sing lyrics AND type too. Following what's happening on a TV show AND writing this post at the same time just ain't possible. It's too much. I fear that my brain can no longer split into multiple tasks. Have I become simple-minded? Is this dumbing-down a side effect? What exactly is not letting me be myself?

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